


Adrien Hates Chloe

by herecomestroublr



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Cussing, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Identity Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 00:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomestroublr/pseuds/herecomestroublr
Summary: “Why am I here, Plagg?” He asked after a long silence. “How the hell should I know? Why are you getting allsoul-searchywhen you could be getting me camembert?!” Adrien sighed and turned to his kwami with an exasperated look. “I meant why am I still in my room, when I could be outside with my friends.” “Oh.” “Yeah.”





	Adrien Hates Chloe

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write this crack fic. Sorry not sorry. Enjoy!!!

Alone in his room on a Sunday afternoon and sitting at his desk, Adrien contemplated his life. “Why am I here, Plagg?” He asked after a long silence. “How the hell should I know? Why are you getting all _soul-searchy_ when you could be getting me camembert?!” Adrien sighed and turned to his kwami with an exasperated look.

“I meant why am I still in my room, when I could be outside with my friends.” “Oh.” “Yeah.” Plagg though for a moment and floated over towards Adrien from his place on the bed. “Maybe because your dad locked down the house and you can’t leave without a passcode.” Adrien slumped in defeat. “Oh, dammit.” Looking around for something to do instead, Adrien’s eyes landed on plagg. It took him a moment, but the gears in his head began to turn. Letting out a cheshire grin, he chuckled. “Plagg! Claws out!” “Ah, dammi-” Plagg yelled as he was sucked into the ring.

Now standing as Chat Noir, Adrien opened his window and vaulted out into the city. He knew exactly where he was headed, and he was going to play a little prank. Chat Noir was headed to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery to visit his girlfriend, Marinette. Usually he would knock on her skylight and he’d be let in, or he’d go through the house door. But this time, he was going to walk in the front door of the bakery and say he was there to see her. It wouldn’t be that bad, because Marinette’s parents were already aware that she was dating him. The customers though, that would be absolutely hilarious. 

Finally, the balcony came into view and Chat Noir dropped into a nearby alleyway. He stretched, then made his way across the street the the bakery. Pedestrians and children began whispering and pointing excitedly as he neared the bakery, absolutely awed that one of their beloved heroes was out and about.

Finally at the door, Chat cleared his throat and held down a smirk. He instead walked in with a kind smile and made his way up to the counter. The customers around him gasped and looked confused as he spoke. “Oh hello, Chat! Is there something we can do for you?” Sabine, Marinette’s mother, called from the cash register as she finished ringing up a customer. “Hi, Mrs. Sabine! I just came to see Marinette is all.” There was a collective gasp behind him and he tried to hold in his laughter as his shoulders started shaking.

“Go right on up! Marinette is just making lunch right now. You’re welcome to have some.” Sabine replied, smiling slyly as she caught on to his joke. “Thanks!” Chat said, and headed behind the counter and into the kitchen. As soon as the door closed behind him and he was out of sight, he began hysterically laughing. “That was awesome!” He yelled, fist-bumping the air and jumping a bit. 

“What was awesome?” Tom, Marinette’s father, asked as he pulled a tray of peanut butter cookies out of the oven. Chat waved his hand with a large smile on his face. “Oh nothing, just a little prank is all; wanted to confuse the customers. Your wife found it quite entertaining.” Tom smiled. “Alright! Well head on up, Marinette’s making BLT’s with a fruit salad.” Chat jumped up in joy. “Oooooh! Yay!” He said rushing for the door. 

“Oh, wait!” Tom exclaimed as he turned around, gathering various cookies on a plate. “Take these up to Marinette, would you? She’ll know what to do.” Chat took the plate, then nodded as he finally headed up to the main floor. As he neared the top, a waft of bacon grease came over him. “Hoooooooly shit…” Chat moaned at the delicious smell.

“Is that you, Chaton?” Marinette’s voice came from around the corner. Finally stepping out into the kitchen, plate in hand, he spoke. “Why Purrrrincess, that delicious smell! It’s _invigorating_!” A bubbly laugh came from Marinette as she turned and smiled at her boyfriend. “Thank you! Oh, are those the cookies from my dad?” She asked, taking 8 slices of toast from the toaster oven and toaster respectively. “Yeah, he said you would know what to do with them?” Chat stated.

“Yes,” She began. “I’m making ice cream sandwiches for dessert. Get out the vanilla ice cream and you can help~” She taunted, wiggling her fingers in his direction as she flipped a few slices of bacon in the pan. “Alright!” Going to the freezer, Chat Noir pulled out a fresh tub of vanilla bean ice cream. He placed the plate of cookies on top of the tub and went for the utensil drawer to pull out two spoons; one for making the cookies and one for eating ice cream. 

Sitting at the bar as Marinette cooked, Chat got a bunch of cookies and began glopping ice cream on their bottoms, then sticking them together before he placed them on a plate. After about 5 ice cream sandwiches, he got the ‘eating spoon’ and took out a huge amount. His tail twitched back and forth happily as he devoured the ice cream from the spoon. “Don’t eat it all, Chat.” Marinette called behind her shoulder. 

Stopping with the spoon over the tub of ice cream and cheeks inflated, Chat smiled inconspicuously and swallowed as his girlfriend turned around to raise an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean, Purrrincess~?” He drawled out. She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, lunch is ready.” He perked up. “Bacon!” “I’ll just bring these to my parents and I’ll be right back.” Marinette stated as she walked downstairs with two plates. 

After she returned, they ate their sandwiches. Chat’s of course, was filled with extra bacon. After cleaning up, they grabbed a few ice cream sandwiches and headed to the couch to play a round or two of Mecha IV. Marinette absolutely _slaughtered_ Chat with no expression and no movement whatsoever. She was completely stoic on the couch, while Chat was leaping and leaning, crying and screaming, and everything in between. Finally after losing a few times, Marinette convinced her boyfriend(through laughs) to head up to her room and hang out.

Climbing the ladder to her room, Marinette threw open the door and smiled. “Aaaaand we’re here!” She exclaimed, throwing herself onto her bed. Chat soon followed, slumping into her desk chair and rolling to the storage drawers. “You put my drawing in here, right?” He asked, tossing Marinette her sketchbook. She caught it in her hand and shrugged, pulling out a pencil. “I think so. That or you took it with you. I’m not entirely sure, though.” 

Nodding, Chat Noir began to throw open drawers in search of his paper. Open drawer-sewing pins and needles-close drawer. Open drawer-drawing supplies-close drawer. Open drawer-even more Adrien pictures-laugh, close drawer. (Chat had long ago gotten used to his civilian persona being all over her room. She didn’t have a crush on Adrien anymore, but she still liked the designs and used them for reference.)

It went that that for awhile, finding different things(some embarrassing things, such as an old drawing of Adrien decked out in hearts), before Chat finally came across his drawing. He cheered and removed it from the drawer. As he was about to close said drawer, he noticed something. It was filled entirely with tupperware containers of chocolate chip cookies.

“Marinette! You have chocolate chip cookies and you didn’t tell me?” He feigned hurt, turned in the chair to pout at her. She rolled her eyes. “You can’t have any, Kitty. They aren’t for you.” He smirked, a wide smile similar to that of the cheshire cat and turned around. “Oh well!” Opening the container on top, Chat grabbed a cookie and brought it to his mouth.

Before he could take a bite though(and with a speed such a small girl shouldn’t be able to accomplish), Marinette screeched and flew across her bed; dropping her sketchbook and taking to cookie from her boyfriend. He blinked, staring at his hand with wide eyes. Now instead of just grabbing another cookie like a rational human being, Chat dived for Marinette. She dodged of course, and he face-planted into the floor with a dull ‘thump!’. She laughed, but screeched and giggled as he pulled her to the floor and began tickling her sides with his claws.

“Ch-chat!” Marinette laughed, crawling backwards away from the evil fingers of her boyfriend. “Now, now, Purrincess! Running away will only make it wooooorse~!” The superhero exclaimed, wiggling his fingers in her direction. “Just give me what I want and this can all go away!” Marinette tried to hide a smile as she crossed her arms defiantly, cookie still in her grasp. “No!”

“Well, I guess I’ll just leave. Seeing as though I’m not welcome.” Chat wiped a fake tear from his eye, and then looked at the time. “Holy shit I actually do have to leave.” Marinette stood as Chat headed for her open window. “Wait!” He turned, and she barreled into him. Smiling, Chat hugged her tightly then kissed her forehead. “I wish I knew who you were behind that mask……” She whispered. 

Chat’s smiled disappeared. He wanted to tell her, he really did; but how do you confess to the girl that sits behind you in class that you’ve been the one eating her out and sneaking into her room in the middle of the night? Plus, how could he betray the trust of his lady like that? She had already advised against the relationship. But did he listen? No. Chat was too drowned in his love for Marinette, and her love for him. The _real_ him. The Adrian he wanted to be behind the mask of a hero. 

He just…..had to think about it. “I know, Mari.” He mumbled into her hair. “I just have to think about it, alright?” Marinette nodded into his chest. “Okay.” Chat smiled and pulled away. “I love you, Purrincess!” He yelled as he vaulted out the window. “I love you too, Chaton!” She yelled after him. As soon as he was out of sight, she glanced at the cookie in her hand, then took a bite.

________

The next day, Adrien spied on Marinette from a nearby bush during lunch. “What are you doing, Adrien?” Came the exasperated voice of Plagg as he escaped Adrien’s pocket. “I’m looking for the right time to pull Marinette to the side and tell her who I am.” Plagg sighed. “And why did you think this would be a good idea to do in school?” Adrien blushed. “I’m really busy later, okay?” Plagg rolled his eyes and disappeared back into his pocket home. 

Looking back up, Adrien saw Marinette sit down on a bench as Alya walked off with Rose and Alix. “This is it!” Standing up, Adrien made his way towards Marinette. He was so glad Chloe was sick, or he’d have to deal with her prying eyes. As soon he was within five feet of his target, Adrien cleared his throat. “Marinette?”

The said girl suddenly looked up, surprised a bit before she smiled. “Oh! Hey, Adrien!” Adrien was really happy she wasn’t always so nervous around him anymore. They were actually very good friends. He thinks it’s because she fell in love with his superhero persona, and was too distracted with that to hate him anymore. Either way, he was happy. 

“Do you need something?” Marinette asked, closing her sketchbook and stowing it in her bag. “Actually….” Adrien started. “Could you please come with me? I need to talk to you.” Marinette looked confused for a bit before she stood. “Sure! Lead the way!” Adrien smiled nervously and began walking towards the door to the basement of the school. He found out that it was empty during lunch, and found this the perfect time to reveal his secret.

As soon as they were in the darkness of the basement, Adrien took a deep breath. “Marinette,” He started. There was no way to lay this easy, so he was just gonna throw the information at her and see what she did. “Yeah?” She replied a bit nervously. This was it. “I’m Chat Noir.”

She blinked, before waving her hand nonchalantly. “I know! Now what’s the real news?” Adrien stared at Marinette with a look of pure disbelief. “I’m being serious!” He screeched, wincing at the loudness of his voice. “I’m serious.” He repeated, quieter and much more serious. Marinette laughed. “I am too! You feel asleep at my house once and Plagg de-transformed you. We had a chat-HAH-” Marinette slapped her knee at her own joke and Adrien just stood there dumbfounded. “But yeah; he told me everything, and now I keep his favorite cheese with me because the _awful_ smell-” “Hey!” Plagg yelled from Adrien’s pocket. “Is washed out by the natural bakery smell that clings to me and all of my belongings.” She smiled at him.

Adrien continued to stand there awkwardly, even as Plagg came out and began having a conversation with Marinette. He was so surprised; his mind was blank. Honestly, the fact that she knew already, took a HUUUUUUGE stress off of him. Next to school and photo shoots, being Chat Noir wasn’t easy. It honestly helped that someone knew, so he could confide. Finally breaking his long silence, Adrien sighed. 

Turning towards the noise, Marinette smiled. “You alright now? Because Alya totally saw us together and I have to keep her from gossiping about it to everyone.” Adrien gave her a questioning look as Plagg returned to his pocket home and they headed for the stairs. “Why?” She gave him a sheepish look. “Alya figured I was dating someone because we haven’t been hanging out that much, and I couldn’t exactly tell her I was dating a superhero.” Adrien let out a chuckle and shrugged. She _could_ have, but that probably wouldn’t have been the best idea. 

“So I told her nothing, and when I found out who you were, I waited until she asked again and said it was you. But that because of your father and the constant paparazzi, we had to keep it quiet.” Adrien nodded before stopping in the hallways and watching for a staff member. When he saw nothing, he waved Marinette on and continued toward the second staircase. “That explains why she kept on giving me those weird looks.” Marinette chuckled fondly. “That’s Alya for ya.”

Finally back in the school building, Adrien opened his mouth to speak. A high-pitched screech from the courtyard cut him off though. Sharing a look, the pair ran towards the screech to find Chloe yelling, crying, and pretty much throwing a temper-tantrum. Alya was in front of her, arms crossed and looking smug, Nino was laughing loudly behind her with most of the class, and Sabrina was panicking as she tried to calm down her friend. As they were deciding to run or stay, Chloe finally noticed the pair who had emerged from the basement. 

“ADRIEKINS~!!!!” She screeched, flinging herself against him with watering eyes. “HOW COULD YOU GO OUT WITH MARINETTE AND NOT ME??!?!?!!!” Adrien looked at Marinette, who was giving Alya a judgmental look as she crossed her arms. “Thanks, Alya. You’re a big help.” Marinette stated sarcastically. “No problem!” Alya replied with her thumb up and a huge smile on her face. She was being completely serious too. 

“I…...Ummmmmm……..” Adrien tried, leaning away from Chloe’s death grip. “She’s not a fake bitch like you….?” He questioned nervously. Chloe gasped and pushed Adrien away as the class went _wild_ at his statement. The boys were all losing their shit and celebrating with each other; while most of the girls laughed loudly at Chloe. 

Her face was teaming with anger as she opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a sudden coughing fit. That’s when Adrien noticed what she was wearing; she had on a pair of fluffy yellow pajama pants, a white tank top, and a grey cardigan. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she looked pale and sleep deprived without her make-up. 

Sabrina ran up to Chloe’s side and rubbed her back. Chloe, in turn, shoved her off and stood. “Wait, why are you even here?” Adrien asked. At his statement, the surrounding people went quiet and waited in anticipation for the next move. “Sabrina said you and Marinette disappeared together, and texted me. I had to stop her! She can’t have you!” She finished with a screech and was thrown into another coughing fit. This time she let Sabrina lead her away, not before throwing a glare at Marinette and Alya(who erupted into laughter).

Finally things were calm, and the class had dispersed. The only people still in the scene of the crime were Adrien, Marinette, Alya, and Nino. Nino and Alya just kept looking at each other then at Adrien, with these smug looks on their faces. Adrien looked very uncomfortable, and took a small step back, slightly hiding behind his girlfriend. Woah. He could officially call her his girlfriend!

“Guys……?” He asked. Marinette rolled her eyes as Nino finally laughed. “Alright, alright, we get it. But damn, dude! That was savage! Hah!” Alya nodded and laughed in agreement. “Hell yeah it was! The look on her face was priceless!” Marinette coughed. “Yeah, Alya. Priceless.” Alya froze and gave her a sheepish smile. “What part of, ‘keep it a secret’ do you not understand?” She laughed nervously and avoided Marinette’s gaze. “Sorry?” 

“Just, try to keep other secrets.” Alya nodded and rushed off with Nino in tow, sacred of Marinette’s reaction; she did despise Chloe with her whole being after all. The bell finally rang, and Marinette held her hand out to Adrien with a smile. “Shall we?” He smiled back, taking her hand in his gently and lead the way to the classroom. “We shall.”

“Oh, and by the way, Adrien.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m Ladybug.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ”

“AHAHAHA Told you!” 

“ _SHUT UP, PLAGG!_ ”


End file.
